All In

Throughout our marriage there have been times when one of us wasn’t able (or let’s face it, sometimes not willing) to step up to the plate, so to speak and do their share.

((Like this time, when I was so sick from a serious complication from having my gallbladder removed. I suffered a bile leak about a week after I got home, which turned into a liver abscess, which eventually turned into sepsis, that permanently damaged my liver. We were new parents to a 6 month old baby at the time. My hubby is a high level hockey coach and travels 3-4 days a week during the season with his team. He balanced taking care of me, shuttling me back and forth to the doctors and the hospital almost daily, administering my IV antibiotics at home for 6 weeks, caring for our infant baby, who refused to take a bottle at the time, he cooked, he cleaned, he juggled scheduling people coming over to our home to help care for me, as our extended family lives 10 hours away. He did all this- without skipping a beat. Just because its what you do, its what you have to do to survive. There is NO way I could ever make it up to him or repay him for all he sacrificed for us during this difficult time where I was literally fighting for my life.))

There have been times when one of us had to do way more than our (quote, unquote) fair share. But you know what, that’s okay. Because I know eventually he will need me to step up and do more, or I will need him to do more. That’s what a team does. It’s not about being divided equally in half. It’s about working together as ONE.

Marriage isn’t about giving a half-hearted attempt. It is not meant to be transactional. Meaning, I’ll do this ONLY if you so that. That is a business transaction not a relationship. That’s keeping score and using it against the other person.

A good marriage, a great marriage – is about giving your ALL, even if the other person can’t. And even if they won’t.

• In a 100/100 marriage, you don’t keep score.

• In a 100/100 marriage, you give even when giving is hard. Even when you don’t want to give. Even when you feel like you have nothing left to give.

• In a 100/100 marriage, you give your all, holding nothing back, even if you don’t get anything in return. Even if you feel like you might be doing more than the other person.

• In a 100/100 marriage, you give, because you love, unconditionally. You give them your all.

Now, Hopefully- Your spouse will see that you are ALL IN and they will return the favor and love that you are giving, but hear me out… Even if they don’t return it-

Your wedding VOWS–

Your PROMISE,

Your COMMITMENT,

Those things, You made before God, before your friends and before your family–

They are NOT based upon on your spouse and what they do and what they don’t do.

They are based on you,

And what YOU DO.

They are based upon the commitment you made to your spouse and to God.

A 100/100 marriage is not easy.

But it is worth it.

{**Disclaimer**- I will be the first person to tell you the only instance in when this is NOT TRUE is when you are being abused, manipulated and blatantly mistreated by your spouse. If you think you are being abused or are in an abusive situation (mental or physical) – Please take it from me- I was in a very seriously abusive relationship before I met my current husband, and didn’t realize it until it was too late. Please if you are being abused- Seek help NOW. }

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